1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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