i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
