I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
