you didnt know i had herpes?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My life is pants optional.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
