we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize