so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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