If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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