It's Friday. Sex?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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