My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
