It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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