remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
