Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
