Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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