You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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