Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
