You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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