im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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