dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
