I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
