So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We got so high we made milksteak
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
