I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize