So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
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And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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