She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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