i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
