We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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