so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
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the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
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she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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