It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
