Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
