I'm really into asian looking animals
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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