Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
