I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
