I wanna bring you to show and tell
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
