he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
