After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
