remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
