Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
no you cant smoke seaweed
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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