His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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