oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
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Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.