so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me