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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works

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• (407): View more from Florida

  You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.

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• (925): View more from California

  I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.

  (1-925): View more from California

  We just have a real special relationship.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.

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