and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.