Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then give me ur phone

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  NEVER!!

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  (434): u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it (1-434): but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text (434): then give me ur phone (1-434): NEVER!! http://tfl.nu/jzom
  Replies (3) Good night (1178) Bad night (482)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.

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  (571): so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice. http://tfl.nu/ogb6
  Replies (14) Good night (1766) Bad night (821)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there

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  (305): If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there http://tfl.nu/dyet
  Replies (14) Good night (5576) Bad night (553)
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  (714): View more from California

  I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.

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  (714): I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's. http://tfl.nu/jhuh
  Replies (7) Good night (5223) Bad night (993)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist

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  (901): so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist http://tfl.nu/ofkb
  Replies (12) Good night (4956) Bad night (998)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.

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  (561): If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls. http://tfl.nu/stc1
  Replies (8) Good night (3708) Bad night (1309)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.

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  (513): I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen. http://tfl.nu/9jnz
  Replies (19) Good night (5215) Bad night (905)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.

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  (402): In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/rvi7
  Replies (11) Good night (1039) Bad night (4110)
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  (626): View more from California

  Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?

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  (626): Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester? http://tfl.nu/lq06
  Replies (22) Good night (4411) Bad night (1047)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know

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  (585): Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know http://tfl.nu/3xrv
  Replies (4) Good night (395) Bad night (2003)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"

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  (608): I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!" http://tfl.nu/mxo7
  Replies (9) Good night (1109) Bad night (421)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  started my period, we have to try again next week

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint

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  (770): started my period, we have to try again next week (1-770): if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint http://tfl.nu/4qkj
  Replies (11) Good night (1412) Bad night (293)
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  (323): View more from California

  You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five

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  (323): You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five http://tfl.nu/6fgb
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (359)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.

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  (937): Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though. http://tfl.nu/d5b6
  Replies (0) Good night (342) Bad night (124)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"

  (516): View more from New York

  Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton

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  (267): There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians" (516): Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton http://tfl.nu/e4k4
  Replies (3) Good night (493) Bad night (168)

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