Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before

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  (702): The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before http://tfl.nu/ogqr
  Replies (5) Good night (2767) Bad night (582)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

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  (312): kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it. http://tfl.nu/8mle
  Replies (71) Good night (735) Bad night (4804)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.

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  (267): No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay. http://tfl.nu/ge7h
  Replies (9) Good night (1089) Bad night (4235)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.

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  (904): Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/tda5
  Replies (10) Good night (6363) Bad night (952)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint

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  (404): She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint http://tfl.nu/mdfm
  Replies (7) Good night (3078) Bad night (1154)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.

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  (414): oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv. http://tfl.nu/ywog
  Replies (7) Good night (4154) Bad night (924)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?

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  (361): Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/ihmp
  Replies (5) Good night (2064) Bad night (944)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"

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  (270): My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50" http://tfl.nu/q36v
  Replies (11) Good night (1891) Bad night (585)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING

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  (517): I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING http://tfl.nu/fw3v
  Replies (8) Good night (1471) Bad night (763)
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  (427): View more from

  Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.

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  (427): Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it. http://tfl.nu/to7a
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (1020)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.

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  (804): If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks. http://tfl.nu/t0d1
  Replies (25) Good night (786) Bad night (981)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.

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  (570): You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys. http://tfl.nu/l3j3
  Replies (5) Good night (569) Bad night (574)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.

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  (479): He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes. http://tfl.nu/t9et
  Replies (8) Good night (358) Bad night (1125)
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  (209): View more from California

  He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.

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  (209): He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well. http://tfl.nu/cgxn
  Replies (5) Good night (383) Bad night (618)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.

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  (617): reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times. http://tfl.nu/epvb
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (197)

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