Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
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Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
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why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?