After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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