So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.