remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
