i barfeds in our rink
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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