What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
