Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
