We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
