Got a toothbrush?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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