Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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