..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
