I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
