I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
