Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
