just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
