A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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