hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
