I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
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