I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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