i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize