so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
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Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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