I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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