just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
