my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
