are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
